In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
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When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
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I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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