This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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