So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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