I can text with my tongue
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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