we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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