i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize