SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
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His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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