the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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