I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize