Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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