Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
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I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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