And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
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You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
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I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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