dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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