She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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