i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
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There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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