i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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