He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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