Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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