We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize