you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize