She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize