Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
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Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
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We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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