Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize