I CAN MOONWALK!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's never too late to be topless.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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