OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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