Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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