The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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