omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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