69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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