How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
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