So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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