I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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