When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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