Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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