She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
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this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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