I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize