It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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