Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize