i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
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Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
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You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You are a genius and a whore.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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