wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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