I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize