is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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