Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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