I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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