i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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