i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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