i already hear my dad disowning me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize