I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize