i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
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Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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