You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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